Understanding Big Behaviours

I strongly believe that all behaviours are a form of communication… it just sometimes takes us a while to figure out what is being communicated.

Big Behaviours happen when we can’t self regulate and when we are

• Emotionally overwhelmed
• Experiencing sensory overload

What Can it Look Like When Someone is Not Coping

• Flapping/stimming
• Covering ears or eyes
• Rigid body, tight fists, red face
• These behaviours can indicate that someone is not coping and may therefore lead to a meltdown, but this is not always the case.

Explosive Meltdowns can look like

• screaming
• kicking
• biting
• running
• throwing

Silent Meltdowns can look like

• blank
• floppy
• tin soldier
• silent
• unresponsive

In both cases the child is not ok

What Can You Do?

• When we see behaviours change (flapping, face changes, body gets ridgid, starting to shut down) to indicate increased stress or frustration, we can try different sensory tools and strategies that to help get them back to a state of calm
• Ideally, we aim to catch these behaviours, and apply self regulation strategies (although they may need your help) to calm them down before they escalate into a full-blown meltdown
• Meltdowns can’t be ‘fixed’ as such, and you may just need to wait it out
• Some kids don’t naturally sit in the ‘green zone’ and need loads of movement breaks to stay regulated – this is their normal
• Some kids will be calm and happy and with little to no warning, they switch into a full meltdown – do the best you can to manage this – it’s hard!

Strategies that might help

• Distraction and redirection
• Movement breaks
• Headphones to dull auditory input
• Sunglasses to dull visual input
• Reducing noise where possible
• Reduce lighting where possible
• Limit touch (especially light touch)
• Taking them by the hand to a quiet corner
• Proprioception – applying deep pressure (where you have permission from the parents and another person with you for accountability)

Please note:

• What worked yesterday might not work today
• You might make meltdowns ‘worse’ when trying to figure out what tools & strategies work for you and your child. This is ok – you are both learning.
• It’s hard and it sucks but there’s no set ‘this will definitiely work’ rule for each kid.

What not to do during a meltdown

• Don’t match pace & volume when a child is escalating
• Don’t talk down to the child or get in their space
• Don’t discuss behaviours or ‘red’ choices while the child is escalating, out of control or while calming down

Please note: (during a meltdown)

• This is not the time for discussion.
• They can not process what you are saying while in that heightened state of overwhelm
• You’ll just be adding to their sensory overload
• Talk (hours) later when they are calm – this will depend on their ability level too.

Find this printable in Little Wooden Toybox’s Emotional Regulation and Sensory Profiles

Emotional Regulation & Sensory Profiles Bundle

Printables | PDF Training | Video Training | Digital Download | $238 now $79AU

✅ stay calm & well regulated
✅ get organised
✅ gain independence
✅ make home life calmer and happier 💖

Training Bites Library:

Advocating for kids who see, process and experience the world differently with ‘bite size’ pieces of information to help teach and understand a variety of behaviour, education and life skills topics.

Why do Big Behaviours happen?

Big behaviours happen when kids are emotionally overwhelmed or experiencing sensory overwhelm.

Understanding behaviours that challenge is key to understanding your child’s needs and wants, as well as their triggers and what keeps them calm and happy.

I strongly believe that all behaviours are a form of communication… it just sometimes takes us a while to figure out what is being communicated

But first let’s start with emotional and sensory regulation…

Emotional Regulation:

Emotional regulation is our ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences throughout the day.

• When we are emotionally well regulated, we feel safe and calm and happy.
• When we are not well regulated, we feel anxious, on edge, and are easily irritated.

This applies to our kids too!

Understanding and recognising emotions is key to getting emotions under control and responding to how we feel in a socially acceptable manner.

When we understand how we feel, we can use sensory tools and strategies, including sleep, diet, exercise and self care to help us stay regulated.

Sensory Regulation:

Our ability to manage and respond to sensory experiences throughout the day.

Sensory stimuli direct impacts our emotions, which in turn, affects our behaviour.

I’m sure you can recall a time when you were trying to have an adult conversation and your child has repeatedly yelled ‘mum, mum , mum, mum, mum’ to try and get your attention…

Now how hard was it to keep track of the conversation while getting bombarded with sensory input (in the form of a repetitive small child)? I’m guessing very difficult! How did you then feel? Irritated? Frustrated? Angry?

Understanding how sensory stimuli impacts our emotions and, therefore, behaviour, helps us to empathise and manage difficult behaviours from a place of understanding, rather than joining in the yelling, or disciplining seemingly ‘naughty’ behaviour.

Big Behaviours happen when we can’t self regulate.

Need help learning what you and your kid need to self regulate?

We have loads of tools and strategies for you to use at home that will help you to

• understand behaviours that challenge
• help you discover and then prevent sensory inputs that ‘trigger’ your child and 
• help you to confidently and calmly manage these behaviours when they do happen

Find this printable in Little Wooden Toybox’s Emotional Regulation and Sensory Profiles

Emotional Regulation & Sensory Profiles Bundle

Printables | PDF Training | Video Training | Digital Download | $238 now $79AU

✅ stay calm & well regulated
✅ get organised
✅ gain independence
✅ make home life calmer and happier 💖

Training Bites Library:

Advocating for kids who see, process and experience the world differently with ‘bite size’ pieces of information to help teach and understand a variety of behaviour, education and life skills topics.